I recently read a gentle post by Rod Judkins, who was reflecting upon the struggles of a German artist, Anselm Kiefer, in trying to come to terms with his country’s history.
One of the responses to his post was by someone who was angry because the post did not give step-by-step instructions on sitting with a difficult past.
Here are some step by step simple instructions on sitting with painful stuff.
1. Gently revisit the painful episode of time of your own life.
2. Take a quiet moment to be mindful of what you feel as you reflect of that time.
3. Gently and with great curiosity, notice the judgemental thoughts as they arise – thoughts about yourself and others.
4. Allow the thoughts to float away and reconnect with your body – where in your body do you ‘feel’ what you are feeling.
5. Notice feelings of fear or anger or sadness or shame which arise in you.
6. Notice again the judgemental thoughts around theses feelings – ‘I shouldn’t … ‘, ‘I’m weak … ‘ etc.
7. Allow them to just drop away and reconnect with your body.
8. Take a moment to be mindful of images and hints you may become conscious of around something traumatic in your past.
9. Notice your feelings yet again – and where in your body they emanate from.
10. Gently reflect on the ‘you’ who has suffered something so painful and slowly allow yourself some soft compassion.
11. Go back to gently staying with yourself and be very very curious.
12. Somewhere allow yourself the possibility of feeling yet more of the big void in your life.
13. And again, see whether you can find some further compassion for the ‘you’ who went through such painful experiences.
14. Perhaps take a moment to reflect on how many other people in the world have gone through and are going through painful events.
15. Can your compassion extend to them?
16. And, just as important, when you have felt compassion for someone else, can you offer yourself the same tolerance and compassion?
What I keep learning is that perhaps Anselm Kiefer, perhaps you, certainly I include myself – we’re all in the same boat together, trying to fill the voids in our lives, trying to make sense of our lives, doing the best we can.
Yes, Anselm Kiefer feels and struggles and does the best he can.
So does Rod Judkins, the author of the post.
I do as well.
Maybe you can too.
