There are varying definitions of non-violent communication but the real life changing skills are not really about the words but about the attitude. Learning rote phrases in the hope that people will understand your point of view better is NOT what non-violent communication is all about.
- It is about presenting yourself in a communication with the desire to hear and be heard.
- It is the desire that both parties needs are EQUALLY acknowledged and considered, and at the very least, parties can agree to disagree, but without conflict.
- At its best though, NVC is way of understanding others and hearing others in a way not experienced before and in turn being heard in the same way.
We then REALLY care about what the others needs are, instead of being focused on our needs solely. When both parties feel their needs matter, both hearts open to see the other viewpoint. This style of communication not only opens hearts but even more importantly, opens opportunities for people to have relationships on a far deeper, more caring and useful level.
